The other day, I spent some time going through my email, unsubscribing from a bunch of lists, dragging messages into folders, and tying up lose ends in an attempt to be less of a flaky human (a new core value for me).
As I was doing so, I stumbled across a blog post that I had written in March and had completely forgotten about in the depths of my inbox.
It spurred a few ideas. Sooooo I’m going to break one of my self-imposed blogging rules to tell you a bit of a story.
In March, I was doing a lot of one particular thing:
Yep. One of those things that no one really wants to admit to but like, a lot of people do. And hey! I’ll say two great things about it:
- I met some really nice, interesting guys.
- I learned a metric ton about myself…and have learned to love myself in a way that is allowing me to actually BE ME.
So obviously we’re going to focus on that second part.
You see, this post that I uncovered as I went through my email the other day was a letter. In hindsight, it was a pretty silly letter. Nonetheless, tossing my pride aside for the sake of the lesson…
It was a letter to the hypothetical guy that Googled my name and found my blog.
I actually had the clever idea to put said letter at the URL www.allthingseblog.com/erika-sevigny (don’t click that, because it never got published.)
Anyway, at the time, while I was going on all of these dates with new dudes, there was one thing that I was irrationally self-conscious about:
All I could think about was how a guy might perceive me based on what I share (or don’t share) in this space. I feared that they’d think I’d blog about them (which is a valid fear but I haven’t really yet…this doesn’t count) or that they’d think I was weird for sharing so much with strangers and for having so many “Internet friends” and such.
To be frank, I desperately wanted to keep them from finding this blog OR if I couldn’t do that (which, let’s be real, it’s the internet), I wanted to at least be able to control the conversation about the blog from the get go.
I was so embarrassed and unsure about this aspect of myself and of my personality.
So I sat down and wrote that letter. Afterward, I felt pretty great about it. It was a good letter. Some of my very best pieces of writing are letters.
Immediately after finishing the post, I slapped on some lipstick went on a date.
And wouldn’t you know, as I rode the high that comes from creating something I was proud of (said letter), I had one of my best first dates. I talked about blogging in a passionate way. I told the dude about my love for the Internet and for learning. He didn’t think I was crazy or weird (or if he did, he didn’t let that fact be known).
It was awesome.
Anyway, shortly after that, I became a whole lot less worried about people (OK, boys) “finding out” about my blog. And hey! For the most part, this blog has been really well-received by the guys that I’ve dated and that have actually gotten to know me.
And even if it wasn’t well-received by them, it doesn’t matter.
Because if there’s one thing that dating has taught me, it’s this:
Be You, Bravely.
You can’t hide the parts of your life that make you shine or that make you feel ridiculously nerdy and intensely YOU. In fact, that’s probably the recipe for disaster in relationships. Whether it’s your obsession with DIY, your unrelenting interesting in history, your weird obsession with a particular book or show… If it lights you up, embrace it. Own it. Be brave and confident about it.
It’s so tempting to edit ourselves into what we think someone else wants us to be. But at the end of the day, pretending is exhausting. And the right people will love you exactly the way you are.
So that’s what I’m here to say to you today:
Be You, Bravely…especially in matters of the heart.
Now! I’m excited to share something with you guys.
I was recently contacted by Tara, a lovely Etsy shop owner that is creating a bunch of goodies that speak to this very type of confidence. Her shop, Chicago’s Own, features one-of-a-kind photography and designs including phone cases, notebooks, prints and other items you won’t find anywhere else.
Tara is offering one of her notebooks and an iPhone case (pictured above) to one of my lovely readers. In addition, I’ve decided to sweeten the deal with a $50 Amazon gift card.
Big changes are coming to this space and I AM EXCITED. One of the major shifts is going to happen in the intimacy of your inbox, however.
Therefore, the best way to enter this giveaway is to join my email list. It may be a few weeks, but eventually, you’ll be getting weekly (ish) love letters from me. I promise they’ll be short and sweet.
You can enter your email below:
As I am a huge advocate of only inviting things into your life that make sense for YOU, there are multiple other non-email ways to enter the giveaway by using the Rafflecopter below and showing some love to Chicago’s Own.
Conversation for the comments section: What’s the one thing that you try to hide from the world, when you’d be better off shouting it from the rooftops?
OR, for funsies: what’s your best dating story (those that end happily or awkwardly are my favorite)? Dish in the comments.
xo – E