Coffee and Joy

joyGood morning, loves.

I’m actually coming to you live right now – from my favorite Starbucks, with a giant iced coffee in hand. If we were having coffee together right now, there are many things I would say.  So, let’s pretend you’re here, and you have your drink of choice in front of you, and that the friendly barista made it just perfectly (the A-team is totally in right now).

We don’t have a lot of time, so I’ll probably do most of the talking, because I’m feeling needy. I like to think that most of the time, I’m not super needy… but today, this week, I am. It’s not cute, but it’s honest.

I’ve been in a weird emotional state all week. Surprisingly, it’s been completely unrelated to holiday madness. I’d call it primarily a weird funk brought on by some weird insecurities at work and well, just my normal crazy rollercoaster of emotion.

But talking about work is boring (and also not a good idea because, hello, this is the Internet). So hopefully you’d make me change the subject before we went down that gnarly path of tedium.

I read a great book a few weeks ago that has given me much to think about, though I was somewhat embarrassed to even pick it up. It is called How to Be Interesting.

It was really good. And so easy to read. With lots of fun drawings and pictures and venn diagrams. I like to think that you’re the type of person that might like it though, and that you might find the conversation about it stimulating in some way.

Anyway, if we were having coffee right now, I’d probably want to bring this book up because I’d want to talk about my fear of being boring and predictable. And how I know that’s an irrational fear.

Just like the majority of my emotions this week. Irrational.

A lot of the time, I’m super upbeat on this blog.  In general, I like upbeat people. Optimism abounds. And pessimism isn’t a trait that looks good on me in any way.

But I need you to know that I’m not always like that in real life.
I need you know that my life can be very mundane. And very not together.
And that there is a lot of stuff I’m trying to work through and work on.
Because nobody has their shit together. Literally nobody.
And if they look like they do, what you see is only one tiny piece of the puzzle.

HOWEVER. If we were having coffee right now, I’d tell you that today, I’m going to choose joy. And do everything I can to pull myself out of the basement of my emotions.

Sometimes, “fake it ‘til you make it” isn’t the worst advice in the world. Because many times, it works.

Joy. Let’s be friends today.

Because  really, there is a LOT for me to be joyful about right now. My best friend is in town, my birthday is in two days, I get to see my family in 4 days, I get almost a week off of work, and a new year is on the horizon.

It should be easy to choose to be happy today. So I’m going to. And it’s going to work.

Thanks for listening. Glad I could get this off my chest.

But oh shoot, it’s time for work. I’ve got to run. Thanks for the coffee date, and have a good Friday!

Image above via.


  • Erika, it’s so true that no one has it together! I just spent the past few weeks talking to my good friends ranging from the young 20s to mid 30s and everyone is in the same boat. It was reassuring, to say the least. And it’s so good to recognize that, despite all the crazy irrational things going on inside, you can make a conscious choice for joy, even in the smallest ways (like a good ol’ fashioned cup of coffee :).

    • So glad I’m not alone! And I seem to be hearing this a lot too – ages 23-35… all saying the same things! Hope you’re well, Amy! 🙂

  • All this honesty completely resonates with me. My home life has been a hot mess since returning from Virginia (I’m going back again tomorrow and I haven’t unpacked from 2 weeks ago!) and this entire year has been a needy one…I wrote about support and kindness in 2013 on my blog but I certainly recognize that the flip side is that I’ve reeeally needed that more than average this year.

    Sometimes we all have slumps even when there are lots of good things in the works. Choosing joy sounds like the first step up-up-up. It’s normal to have irrational feelings and/or freakouts and/or bummer periods but hopefully lots of happiness will soon come your way!

    • Man, I’m so glad I’m not the only one that feels needy sometimes. I always hate to admit it, but sometimes just asking for attention/an attentive listener makes all the difference.

  • Sometimes admitting you’re faltering can help. We all try so hard to be Superwoman and sometimes it’s ok to say you aren’t doing well. Kudos to you for acknowledging you needed a reset and taking steps to get back on track.

    • You’re so right. While I’m a lot better now than I was when I posted this a few weeks ago, it really did make a difference admitting it. Being Superwoman = overrated.

      Thanks for the comment Lisa! 🙂

  • Okay, for starters. Happy Birthday!

    Also. Fake it till you make it! I used to have one of those “today I feel” posters and I used to just pick all the happy ones and try to be it on a certain day. My senior year of high school was stressful (all over ridiculous things in retrospect) but when I wasn’t feeling like my cheery self, every time someone asked how I was, I’d respond with a variety of adjectives like “awesome!” “fantastic!” “wonderful!” “superb!” I’m not kidding. I’m pretty sure I annoyed some of my classmates, but by the end of each day, I felt awesome, fantastic, wonderful and superb. Honest truth, I got the advice from a priest during a youth retreat and I wrote it on an index card and never forgot it. I did the same thing in college all the time to condition myself to get to where I wanted to me and a boss once asked me “How are you so cheerful all the time?” Truth was, I was constantly stressed and worried about not having a job when I graduated (the newspaper biz was rough then, heck, it still is). I told him I had a “today I feel” poster on my closet door and chose only the happy ones every morning and committed to get there each day. That editor brought me back for the rest of college and is still a friend.

    In school, I was always the happy, cheerful kid so that when I wasn’t super peppy, people would ask what was wrong. Being happy all the time is exhausting and you need time to recharge. Take it. Then decide that you want to be happy and go do it. Fake it till you make it really works and I honestly need to use my teenage self smarts now in my 30s.

    • You’re so right Jenn! I’m not always great at faking it, but when I remember to do so, it ALWAYS seems to work. Man, I’d love to be the always cheerful one – I am a lot of the time, but I definitely have what my boss calls “sassy moments” haha, luckily the happy moments outweigh them, but I love your attitude – I need to adopt it more often!

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