It has been three years since my sister died.
I honestly have expected those words to get easier to say. But they haven’t. They still break my heart. They make me cry alone in my car and in the shower. Three years later, I still think about her every single day. I’ve wanted to write about it. I’ve wanted to talk about it. But I’ve always expected it to hurt a little less. I’ve been waiting for it to hurt a little less. To get used to missing her. To get used to the way my family looks now, compared to how it looked back then. But it’s not something you get used to, or get over. Some days, like today, are harder than others.
I want to write about all the things I’ve learned. All the ways that Kristina’s life made me the person I am now. All the ways she shaped our family and showed us how to love. All the ways I’ve realized you can miss someone over the pass three years. There are so many.
But it’s still too hard to write about. Heck, on most days it’s too hard to think about. I’ve tried to write this post a few times but just can’t get it right. So I’ll simply share a a verse and a song that though they make me sad, help on days like today.
I’ll always love you Kristina. And I’ll never stop missing you.
xoxo
-E
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